Uncategorized · Vents

I will never understand why…

I will never understand why people will choose to tear down someone’s confidence instead of trying to build it up. Why do they honestly think its acceptable to impose their judgment upon you like its nothing? And yet, if you do act like its nothing and shrug it off, they then judge you for not caring.

When I was younger and I’d hear about so called ‘bullies’ and about those people who were so insecure about themselves that they would do or say anything at someone else’s expanse, if it would only make them feel good. I’d hear these stories from my own family and close friends, as they tried to tell me how I needed to watch out for such people. But now it seems all those warnings were pointless, as the only people who have any effect on me when it comes to their words and judgment is them. And too often do they seem to be the ones who do it to me the most.

While the words and comments they leave might not be considered particularly ‘mean’ as they were merely just an observation, a fact, a simple acknowledgment, they feel the most brutal. But I mean, after all, ‘they never really intended for me to be hurt by their words, and I shouldn’t be so easily offended.’

Because when they say ‘little’ things like;

“Skye, why do you always wear so much makeup?”

“Skye, I think your acne is getting worse.”

“Skye, why have you gained a lot of weight this year?”

“Skye, you have no butt or boobs.”

I was never meant take any of it personal. I was never meant care.

So why would they fricken tell me then. If it wasn’t to make them feel good about themselves, then why did they honestly have to point it out and then judge me for being insecure and not confident.

Because it seems like every time I finally start to love and accept myself for who I am, they have to come along and tear down any last confidence that I was clinging to.

And I’m just so sick of it. I’m just so sick of people thinking they can say whatever they want without causing any harm.

. . .

Hey guys…

So as you probably tell, I’m struggling so much with self-love and acceptance, and it has honestly just gotten to the point where I don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve told my dad a little bit, but he said I should just ignore it and when I’m older it’ll be better. But I don’t know how much more of it I can bear… I just want to be happy now. I don’t wanna wait until I’m older to be okay with who I am…

So I guess why I’m telling you all this is because I was hoping that maybe one of you could offer me some advice/help with how to deal with negativity? I honestly have no idea what I’m doing and I’d appreciate any support hehe.

Anyways!

Stay Happy & God bless youuu. I’ll probably be writing a more positive post on the weekend hehe.

Skyeeee xx.

 

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19 thoughts on “I will never understand why…

  1. awwww…. skyeeeeeee…
    i got you, girl. i got you. i know how it feels and it’s weird, my parents say THE EXACT SAME THING OH MY GOD
    i’m starting to feel like we’re twins??
    anyway. i’m kind of sensitive. (i’m an infj, so blame it on that?) and i hate- and i mean BIG hate, like donald trump hate- when people do this. i know they don’t mean to, but seriously, don’t they realize that it actually matters? that i already know all this shit about myself, and they’re just throwing it back in my face?
    and if you’re having a bad day, email me at amazingness27@gmail.com, and i will kill whoever said that shit to you and then give you a rallying pep talk and *virtual* chocolate + hugs.
    love, hanna

    Liked by 1 person

    1. HAHAHA OKAY SO LIKE OUR PARENTS ACT THE SAME AND BOTH OUR NAMES ARE HANNAH!?? Omg this is just weiird…hehe.
      But yeah, for reals. Its so frustrating because they’re just so ignorant to the fact that they’re causing me so much pain? Like one of my love languages is Words of Affirmation. And so people’s words have such a heavy impact on me – whether thats negative or positive.
      Awww Hannaaaaaaa. I think I’ll email youuu xx
      love you ridiculously muuuuuch!

      Like

      1. AGHHHHHH sorry for not replying! i’m terribleeeeee
        OKAY THAT REALLY IS WEIRD omg i think i found my twin 😀
        yeah i also think it’s terrible! i’m really a sensitive person (infj all the way) so usually I get kind of upset over their words, I just never show it.
        email me anytime 🙂
        love you too!!!!!

        Like

  2. Oh Skye!
    I won’t tell you that you’re the only one who feels negative about themselves from time to time because that’s definitely not true. But you’re not struggling with self-love; you’re struggling with people who make you self-loathe. That’s why I wanted to tell you that you’re your own strength, you’re your own happiness (and God is too), and you have the ability to shape your life, so don’t let comments like these get to you when you know that they may be true but useless. So what if you wear makeup? You’re pretty both inside and out, with or without it, even if they don’t see it. So what if you have acne? Name someone who’s lived their lives without seeing a spot on their face. So what if you gain weight? As long as you’re healthy, be happy with what you have. Be happy with YOU.

    As long as you can smile, then you’re still fighting off judgement. You’re already winning your struggle.

    Seriously mate, the best decision you made was breathe all that toxic energy out of you— so just know that even though ‘judgy’ people still exist (sadly) there are people who’d stand by you to drive the negative impact away 🙂

    Believe in yourself. Because I already believe in you.

    xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Okay, first up sorry for being such a rude person by not replying…I just had so much work this week, but after today I had begun to feel crap about myself again and came back to read your comment because it made me feel so much better the first time I read it. And honestly, it has worked just as amazingly as the first time it did. Like I seriously can’t begin to explain how much that one comment spoke to me. Like it didn’t just feel like you talking to me. I could feel God and his peace and love talking to me. If that makes sense? Like even though I’ve heard similar advice from other people, your comment really hit home. And that’s just absolutely incredible. You’re absolutely incredible. Thank you so, so much. You’re such a blessing to meeeee xxx

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Awaaaaah! You’re a blessing to me much as well, mate! I honestly enjoy commenting and hearing all about you! And no you weren’t rude, you were busy, and that’s perfectly alright. I’m really, really, glad this has helped you and seriously, send me an email or something so that I could inquire more about you easily; because you matter and I’d love to hear that you’re doing alright 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I struggled a lot with people’s judgement about who I was. They asked me why I was too skinny and so quiet, and they still do. But somewhere along the way it gets better, you start seeing yourself in a new light. You start to ignore their opinions and judgements, I don’t know when it happened for me but it did. I don’t know why they do it, some people are just so ignorant and rudely blunt sometimes it’s surprising. You shouldn’t try to understand it, no one can. All you can do is love yourself, which is so hard to do sometimes, but it is possible.
    Just promise me that you’ll do this: Look at yourself in the mirror and comment one thing that you like about yourself (or more) and just do that everyday, even if it’s forced some days. It’ll make your day 100% better.
    Remember that the opinions that these people have are in no relation to who you are or who you will become. In the end, it’s your opinions of yourself that matter.
    I’ll always be here for you 🙂 Don’t let them haters hate so easily, give them a challenge!

    Like

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