I will never understand why people will choose to tear down someone’s confidence instead of trying to build it up. Why do they honestly think its acceptable to impose their judgment upon you like its nothing? And yet, if you do act like its nothing and shrug it off, they then judge you for not caring.
When I was younger and I’d hear about so called ‘bullies’ and about those people who were so insecure about themselves that they would do or say anything at someone else’s expanse, if it would only make them feel good. I’d hear these stories from my own family and close friends, as they tried to tell me how I needed to watch out for such people. But now it seems all those warnings were pointless, as the only people who have any effect on me when it comes to their words and judgment is them. And too often do they seem to be the ones who do it to me the most.
While the words and comments they leave might not be considered particularly ‘mean’ as they were merely just an observation, a fact, a simple acknowledgment, they feel the most brutal. But I mean, after all, ‘they never really intended for me to be hurt by their words, and I shouldn’t be so easily offended.’
Because when they say ‘little’ things like;
“Skye, why do you always wear so much makeup?”
“Skye, I think your acne is getting worse.”
“Skye, why have you gained a lot of weight this year?”
“Skye, you have no butt or boobs.”
I was never meant take any of it personal. I was never meant care.
So why would they fricken tell me then. If it wasn’t to make them feel good about themselves, then why did they honestly have to point it out and then judge me for being insecure and not confident.
Because it seems like every time I finally start to love and accept myself for who I am, they have to come along and tear down any last confidence that I was clinging to.
And I’m just so sick of it. I’m just so sick of people thinking they can say whatever they want without causing any harm.
. . .
So as you probably tell, I’m struggling so much with self-love and acceptance, and it has honestly just gotten to the point where I don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve told my dad a little bit, but he said I should just ignore it and when I’m older it’ll be better. But I don’t know how much more of it I can bear… I just want to be happy now. I don’t wanna wait until I’m older to be okay with who I am…
So I guess why I’m telling you all this is because I was hoping that maybe one of you could offer me some advice/help with how to deal with negativity? I honestly have no idea what I’m doing and I’d appreciate any support hehe.
Stay Happy & God bless youuu. I’ll probably be writing a more positive post on the weekend hehe.