At this exact moment in time, there is currently only 485 days, 4 hours, 21 minutes and 30 seconds left until I’ve officially graduated from (roughly) 14 years of schooling. Shioooot, my heart just skipped a few beats….
If you think about it, that’s really not that long at all. And I guess at the moment I should be like most people my age and be finding that that time isn’t coming quick enough. So I wonder why then I’m finding that it’s quite the opposite, and that time is racing just as fast as my heart (which is something like 80km/h)? I’m not sure if it’s the fact that I know as soon as that last day comes, in a way, my whole life will begin to flip in all directions and I’ll be tossed somewhere that I’m lost in, orrr, it could just be the fact that I still have literally no idea what I’m gonna do after that day comes and I’m scared nothing will change at all. Or even still, it could be just be me being a chicken and not wanting to leave the nest (wait, do chickens even leave the nest??)… Whatever the reason, I’m absolutely dreading the final day.
I was thinking about my older sister Bethany, and how she’s always longed to be older. And I realised something then. I’ve never wanted to grow up and say goodbye to the past(or rather the current present). For as long as I can remember, I’ve always beeen kind of daunted and worried about what the future holds, and how there is no way to escape it. You are on a rollercoaster that is constantly dipping and then soaring – there is no telling where it’s going to end up, and scariest of all, there is no turning back or pausing. It just keeps moving faster and faster. And honestly, right now I wish I could pause it for at least just a little while…Just until I’ve figured some stuff out…
The more my family, friends and school talk about the final day, the more I realise just how much I don’t feel ready to let go of everything I have right now. Not school, not being a teen, not having all these friends, not staying close with all my siblings and basically just everything in my life at the moment. I’m freaking loving my life, and I’m just so scared about how much it’s all going to change.
– Skye xx.